UNRESOLVED ISSUES BRING OUT THE TISSUES

UNRESOLVED ISSUES WILL BRING OUT THE TISSUES

There is always a box of tissues at the end of each row in church where we worship. Ever wonder why? It’s for tears of sorrow, tears of heartbreak, tears of joy, tears of mourning, tears of repentance, and tears in times of waiting. God’s Word says He bottles our tears. How awesome is that?

Tears can soak the pillowcase at night from many different kinds of issues. Tears can come from anger at a situation when we know something is not quite right. Tears can come from too much stress and not enough rest—and sometimes when God is warning us to wait. Tears can come from outside interference as well. There are all kinds of tears.

There are seasons in life when we are involved in many diverse activities and that is necessary and good in God’s timing. There are also seasons when life can be too busy and not productive. One of my favorite psalms in God’s Word is Psalm 37. As a matter of fact, we chose to use Psalm 37:4 on our wedding invitations. “Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart” (NKJV).

Nobody can ‘commit his (her) way unto the Lord” who has not begun by ‘delighting in the Lord’; and nobody can ‘rest in the Lord’ who has not ‘committed his ways to the Lord.’

The secret of tranquility is delighting in the Lord. The reason why life is troubled and restless comes not from without, but from within. Changing our circumstances does not bring peace—it is in the quieting of the soul where we find out what is really happening inside—and sometimes what the Spirit of God is speaking to us.

God loves to help us discover wisdom from His Word. He wants us to know our value and that He has a divine plan and purpose for our lives. The Bible says, “I will be found by you” (Jeremiah 29:14). He wants to be found by us, but we must learn to seek Him where He may be found. It is a delight to enter into the rest of God that comes out of knowing who He is in us, and who we are in Him. This is imperative for any couple starting out in marriage, as well as all believers.

Psalm 37:7 says, “Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass” (NKJV).

We find a beautiful portrait of what it means to rest in the Lord. It is a place we sense, deep in the soul, where we no longer feel the world’s pressure to strive to prove ourselves to anyone, and we know who we are in Christ—and are following Him with our entire being. Waiting on God makes sense when we come to trust God and His timing for everything.

Patience requires focus and strength. We are to wait on the Lord with an unflinching focus and resolve. Patience means “the quality of forbearance and self-control which shows itself particularly in a willingness to wait upon God and His will. Believers are called upon to be patient in their expectations of God’s actions, and in their relationship with one another. Did you catch that? It matters to God how we treat one another.

Unresolved issues show up in all kinds of ways. People get divorced and the kids grow up with old hurts and wounds. Sometimes adult kids have had their ears defiled by listening to one or both parents rip the other to pieces with negative words. Grandparents can do the same. Adult kids can do it to their own parents. Every person must choose to forgive and live in God’s order. God comes first, then the husband, then the wife, then the kids. It is when the in-laws or out-laws try to interfere that can and will cause issues.

What I tell young ladies is this: how a man treats his mother is a reflection of how he will treat you. Pay attention to how a man treats his mom. Pay attention when children don’t honor their parents—life will not go well. Family matters to God and it must to us well. Amen!

It is in the blending where we also can have issues that show up. When they show up, we are to walk in love and not blow up. Blowing up never accomplishes anything. The best One to turn to is God. Make sure to set a family time where you read the Word of God and pray. There is no excuse with all the devotionals available today. My new book: The Midnight Hour: Will America Turn Back To God?”— is much like a devotional and is great book to read together. Rick Renner’s SPARKLING GEM—is another great devotional to grow together.

Now let’s see what a blended family might look like.

BLENDED FAMILIES

Blended families can be much like turning a blender on with strawberries, ice cream and ice for the making of a perfect shake. It takes order to make a great shake and a covering. Wouldn’t you agree? If you don’t agree just yet, you will later. Can you imagine what your kitchen would look like after you have touched the button to blend with no lid on top?

Blended families and blending families can also be like turning a blender on with lots of unresolved issues, a little resentment, a little anger, old hurts, and a great spouse, but when you blend it altogether, it doesn’t work so well. When a man and woman get married, their hopes and dreams are coming together. They must leave their parents in order to cleave to each other in marriage. God’s design for marriage is found in the Bible—and you can look at all the translations—from King James to whatever you read.

The Bibles says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24 NKJV). It takes leaving in order to cleave together as “one flesh” according to God’s Word. This simply put—means God comes first, the husband is the head over the home and the wife is covered by God and her husband as they each submit to each other and to God. This is divine order. The children come next. Once a man and woman come together, they don’t need Holy Ghost Junior mother or mother-in-law running the show. They don’t need a father or father-in-law controlling them either. Decisions must be made, people move and change jobs, and they must learn to please God and not man.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. It is when we have fear of God that we will move into His divine plan—not listening to mom and pop’s plans—but learning God’s together—as husband and wife.

It’s time to take back the family across America for God—according to His plan. It doesn’t mean you can’t seek advice from your parents—but that needs to come after you have consulted God’s Word first. Don’t run to mom and pop when you have the first problem in marriage—when you do, many times, long after the issue is resolved, they will remember the problem and pain and hold onto issues.

Family can sometimes feel like war. God calls us to be the army of God but not at war with each other. We are being transformed to the likeness of Jesus Christ, but the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy. Satan uses distractions to thwart God’s purpose. Sometimes life can feel so chaotic that you just want to quit—but you must remember God is your covering, and run to Him.

Satan tempts people to start blaming others and making excuses instead of being who we are designed to be by God. As long as the enemy can keep anyone blaming others, they have not truly repented. Sometimes people blame others because they don’t want to deal with issues or don’t know how.

Life can sometimes feel like a battle, can it not? There are wounded soldiers in war. Second Timothy chapter 2 teaches about being good soldiers, suffering, and instruction, while chapter 3 moves into last day warnings. We must learn to live while looking for the return of Christ. People will be living their lives, getting married, having babies, and whatever else they do when Jesus returns.

I saw a personalized car tag recently that meant: LOOKING FOR HIM. Due to legal reasons, you can’t put the exact tag in print, but this is what we are called to do—live our lives according to God’s Word, love people, and watching for the return of Jesus. Make sure you have been forgiven by God, received Him as Lord and Savior and forgive others.

Forgiveness starts in the heart. God doesn’t remember anyone’s past who is born-again and neither should we. Learn to seek God, obey His Word and warnings, and thrive in your marriage—don’t simply survive. Which will you choose?

Wisdom from God’s Word—biblical principles that work today

Deborah Starczewski